Adam's Apple (Touch of Tantra #1) Page 18
Maybe that’s the point, bringing all my conscious thoughts to a place where I’m in a trance-like state. A lover’s high only reached by Kathryn’s hands sliding over me, her hips undulating with the music as she straddles my legs, and her eyes leaving me weakened and defenseless to stop what I’m feeling.
“Kingsley,” she whispers. “The touch from earlier. Think about it now.”
Her voice draws me out of my altered state of mind. I know she’s asking me to think back to the touch from a woman whose memory haunts me, but I feel completely powerless to resist Kathryn’s demand. She’s mesmerized me with some kind of Tantric magic. I’m bewitched without an ounce of fight left within me. She knows my dilemma, my hesitancy to surrender and loosen the grip I have on my past, and she’s won.
My resistance vanishes as a memory starts to surface. A time when I was sick as a child. It’s bubbling up inside of me. Deep within my gut, I feel my muscles constrict. The tightening makes me hold my breath as I struggle with the discomfort. I fight to keep my eyes focused on Kathryn, but my eyelids are starting to flutter.
Just when I’m unsure if I can continue with whatever the fuck I’m experiencing, Kathryn rescues me. She grips my jaw, holding my head in place.
“Let go, Kingsley,” she whispers to me, calling the memory out. I obey and release the first knot in my stomach. The ache spirals to my chest, tightening and intensifying. I feel as if a weight has been dropped on me. The feelings I’m experiencing are so intense, no matter how hard I try, my eyes won’t stay open. When I give in and close them, the memories come flooding back.
My mother sat next to me on my small twin bed. I was about ten and very sick, a rare occurrence for me. My beloved Batman sheets were tucked snuggly around me. She took my hand and told me I was going to be all right. I felt her fingers run through my hair and gently caressing my scalp. Calming me, loving me. I was weak from fever but her touch gave me strength. The smell of her perfume drifted all around me. She smiled warmly down at me, her beautiful face reflecting a mother’s love.
Then she began singing to me, a song from my childhood. Her voice was angelic as she sang the familiar words I remembered so well.
My mother’s melodic voice turns into a sound of pain, a beseeching cry from deep down inside her soul. The gut-wrenching sound, more like a howl, jolts me from wherever my mind has traveled to, and it’s then I realize the sound I heard was my own.
Chapter 14
My eyes fly open in disbelief, my screaming fading away as my senses return. It was the desperate cry I wanted to voice at my mother’s grave, but it remained buried until now.
Kathryn is still in front of me, her eyes swimming with tears. They’re streaming down her beautiful face, but her expression doesn’t contain any sadness; a genuine happiness radiates from her instead. Her encouraging smile intersects with tears as they trail down her face. It’s then I realize the tears she’s shedding are for me.
“Oh, Kingsley. You sweet, sweet man.” Her words are so tender and loving.
Her arms encircle me as her soft body folds and melts into mine. The legs, once loosely lying by my side, now hug me tightly around my hips; her heels dig almost painfully into my backside. But I welcome the feeling because it affirms her feelings for me.
Desperate to hold her, I greedily wrap my arms around her waist. Nothing stops me now, including her. My hands meet as they encompass her tiny frame, one drifting lower as I grasp the sweet ass I’ve dreamed of holding. I move the other hand higher and cup it behind of neck. I entwine and weave my fingers through her soft hair. Drawing her tightly to me, her body feels so fragile and delicate next to my hard chest.
We cling to each other while she continues to soothingly caress my skin, nothing holding her back now. Murmurs escape from her sweet lips as they move gently across my throat, kissing a path to my ear. She speaks so quietly, I can’t fully hear what she’s saying, but I know the meaning regardless. She wants me, finally.
I bring my head down to hers and bury myself in her hair. Her smell. Her scent. Like an aphrodisiac, overloading my senses, making me feel high, almost drugged when I inhale. I can’t seem to get enough of her so I push myself deeper into her raven-colored silk, needing more, feeling as though I’ll never get enough.
“You were wonderful.” Her voice floats around me in a haze of sensations. “And I don’t what this to stop.”
I want to tell her the same thing, but I’m unable to speak. My voice is lost because I’m still too overcome from what I just experienced with her. Kathryn runs her hands all over me. Pulling them through my hair. Fingernails grazing my back. She moves her lips across my jaw, down my neck, and stopping at my chest. The very place I felt something inside me break loose as I cried out. The cry lifted the weight of suppressing ten years of guilt. How this could even be possible is beyond me, but it’s truly gone.
I have no time to process the difference I feel as her lips find mine. Passionately we connect, our tongues tangling. Our kiss is so different than the others we shared tonight. It’s free and uninhibited. No guessing if I’m doing the right thing, or if she’ll allow me to ravish her, because she’s in the lead. Where she’s taking me, I don’t know, but I’ll gladly follow.
Now, I have her body in my hands, the one that has tortured and teased me since I met her last night. Finally, she relinquishes to me and every intimate part of us connects. The ache I felt for her vanished the second her hot sex made contact with mine. Normally contact like this would make me want to push my cock roughly into her pussy, but I don’t care about myself right now. Instead I want to soak this moment in, capture it in time.
She pulls away, and I moan at the loss of her touch. “Look at me, Kingsley.” I obey instantly; I would do anything for this woman.
“Breathe with me again.”
The cycle from earlier begins again. Breathe in, and exhale out. But this time when her hips circle, her sex strokes against mine in an up and down motion. I give into the feeling, following her. Our moans mix; the heat between us building.
Our movements are beyond dry-humping. I feel as though I’m buried deep inside of her with each thrust of my cock against her covered sex. The connection between our bodies mimics the act I thought I knew so well. I realize now how right she was. I knew nothing.
“God, Kathryn.” I groan, the build-up for my release closing in.
“We’re going to slow it down.” I want to beg her to continue, as I felt my balls starting to tighten. My release was seconds away. Now I fear they’re turning blue. “I know you’re close, that’s why we’re pulling back, slowing down, to only build back up. Trust me.”
“You’re killing me,” I groan, resting my head on her shoulder.
I’m beginning to think Tantra is another word for torture at this point. Emotionally and physically, I’ve never experienced anything like the grueling intensity I’m submitting to with her. But the physical part has changed since I went back to those memories of my mother. I don’t understand it, the change in intimacy, but our contact together is deeper, more intense.
“You’ll thank me.” She winks and slows her gyrating hips. They sweep past me slowly, painfully slow. My orgasm was on the verge, but somehow my desire has picked up, the delay driving me crazy with need.
She kisses me. Our tongues moving in sync with her hips and my thrusts. Pulling away from me, Kathryn takes the barely-there sports bra in her hands and lifts it over her head. Her chest now completely exposed. Beautiful round breasts, full with rose-colored nipples standing before me. Ready and waiting. I nearly come on the spot. It’s as if she’s cast a witch’s spell and given her body unbelievable power over me.
“You’re so beautiful. Perfect.” Her seductive smile lets me know my words are appreciated, and her breasts are mine for the taking. So I take them.
I’m almost shaking as the passion flows through me. Ready to burst when I come into contact with the sides of her breast. One in each hand, I hold them delicately, wors
hiping them.
Thumbing her aroused nipples, I’m in heaven. Hard and taut without even my touch. They stiffen further as I pull and twist, elongating them. Her hips pick up speed as I continue to tease her. I reach down and pull one nipple into my mouth, sucking and flicking it with my tongue.
I hear her crying out for more as I do. She forces her hips harder against my erection. Her need for more as desperate as mine. Fuck, how I wish I was inside her, feeling her wetness all around me. The thought alone is enough to make me come.
My moans now join her as I shove myself up into her, grinding against her hot pussy.
She cups my jaw and pulls my head away. “Look at me when you come.”
Her eyes are dark and hooded, so full of arousal. Likely no different than my own. Our grinding hasn’t ceased and I’m getting close again. Not far from the end for me, but I’m enjoying this ride with her. I don’t ever want it to stop.
My breath hitches as I feel her fingers undoing the ties of my pants. Loosening them until they’re free and hanging open. She places her hands on the area above my boxers and gives me a devilish look. One which promises to undo me. I keep eye contact with her, though; I’ve learned to follow rules tonight.
She sneaks around the elastic of my briefs, and I hold my breath praying she doesn’t stop. And she doesn’t. I feel her hands exploring further, deeper until she’s taken me fully into them and enclosed her fingers around me. I moan when she begins to move her hands up and down. It’s the sweet friction I’ve been craving.
I’ve wanted this moment with her since I met her last night. Dreamed of it even. But now that’s she’s finally here, in my arms, with my cock in her hands, it’s different than I imagined. Damn, it’s incredibly so much more.
I want to get her there with me, so I place my fingers palm up onto her pussy. She’s practically pulsing with need, and fuck, she’s hot and feeling slick even through her yoga pants.
“I want to touch you, too.” I need to get underneath these damn yoga pants like it’s the last thing I’ll ever do.
“Hell, I’ve already crossed so many lines...” Kathryn says, husky and breathy. It was all she needed to say.
In a frenzy, I flatten my hand and delve inside her yoga pants. They’re tight but no match for me. I push my hand down her toned stomach, my fingers glide over her bare pussy. Bare. Damn, my favorite kind. I then slip my fingers down into her heat, cupping and possessing her entirely. I watch her eyes roll backward as I find her clit and feel the wetness.
Right now, possibly for the first time in my entire life, I want a woman. I don’t just want a fuck or quick head. Then it suddenly dawns on me and I understand what she’s been trying to tell me about sex versus fucking. I see the difference now. It’s as clear as a sunny day.
She moves against my hand, and I can’t help but smile as we stare into each other eyes. I’ve desired and lusted after this beautiful woman, and for now she’s all mine. I’ve never known a craving like this before.
I need to be inside her somehow and feel that connection. So I enter her with two fingers as I rub my thumb over her clit in circles. Pressing harder, she rocks and finds a rhythm. The whole time I’ve been stimulating her, she’s had her fingers wrapped around me, stroking my cock. My orgasm now only seconds away.
“Come,” I plead as my face shows my desire to bring her with me over the edge.
My one word is followed by more pressure onto her clit, and a slight curl of my fingers inside her. She holds me tighter and moves her hand faster and we both fly off into the beginnings of our release.
Everything connects inside me with the force of my orgasm. My whole body spasms with each beat of my heart. I cry out in an unfathomable ecstasy. The sound echoing around the tapestry-covered walls.
Chapter 15
My body begins to calm and come down from its high, my cries of pleasure now faded away and replaced by another sound—an uncontrollable laughter. It’s coming from somewhere deep within me as an indescribable exhilaration courses through me from head to toe. I can’t contain this wild feeling of needing to belt out a laugh, and I don’t have the power to suppress it. Though one thing is certain—I’ve never laughed like this in my entire life. It’s completely foreign to me.
Kathryn gazes at me as I laugh like an idiot, a brilliant smile shining on her face. I look into her tear-filled eyes as we both laugh together.
I wrap my arms around her and bring her against me again, skin to skin, her full breasts pressing into me. I hold her tight and rock our bodies from side to side, trying to show her how much she means to me right now. Then I fall backward onto the mat behind me, taking both of us down in a swift move, the mat’s cushion softening our fall.
Our laughter continues for a few more seconds but then slowly subsides into occasional giggles as we lie there holding one another. I gently caress her back with the tips of my fingers, enjoying the feel of her soft skin.
But sadly, Kathryn moves away from our embrace, breaking the moment between us. She places her hands by my sides and raises herself off my stomach to straddle me. She reaches for my discarded T-shirt at the edge of the mat and uses it to clean off my stomach, the result of having the most explosive orgasm in my life. I watch her lovely breasts, ones I’m quite familiar with now, sway with every movement she makes, her hair wild around her face. When she touches my stomach and sides, my laughter starts up again.
“I thought you weren’t ticklish.” Kathryn teases me.
“Shit, I don’t know what I am right now,” I manage to say, my gut getting sore from laughing so much. I can’t seem to stop it, and frankly I don’t want to. She lies on top of me again, returning to where I want her to be. I encircle her with my arms, and an odd feeling of completeness hits me as I do. The only movement we make is the gentle shaking corresponding with my quiet laughter, although it’s more of a child-like giggle at this point.
I feel her lips kissing my neck, their touch as light as a feather. She runs her fingers through my hair and pulls on the strands. The sensations I‘m feeling from her helps to still the laughter in me. It’s finally dying down, but the excitement from my whole experience with her remains.
“What the hell just happened to me?” I ask as she raises her head off my chest. She peers at me with smiling eyes. At least whatever the fuck I experienced makes her happy, too, but I hope she clues me in because I have no name for what transpired.
“What you went through was amazing, and I’m not fully certain I even know what was going on with you. No one I’ve worked with in Tantra has reacted to quite the same degree as you just did. It was nothing short of spectacular.” She brushes her hands over my cheeks and chastely kisses my lips. “But whatever was blocking you from opening up to others, well, I think you chased those demons away.”
“It does feel as though a weight has been lifted off me. A weight I didn’t know existed. And here I thought my life was going along just fine.” I push the hair away from her face.
“How is what I felt even possible? Seriously, I feel great, but that was some freaky shit. I sensed my gut twisting right before a heaviness hit my chest. Next thing I know I’m crying out as if, well, as if I’m dying. Then what we did after that… Touching you finally, it felt as though I’d never touched a woman before, or had one touch me. It meant something different.”
“It’s amazing what sex can be like when there is meaning behind it. How things have changed since I met the cocky Mr. Kingsley of last night.” She’s right, I’m not sure how, but I feel different right now. Those words I spoke last night, about fucking for a release, I can’t imagine saying them to her now. Not after what just happened between us.
“Don’t remind me of what I said to you. I might even confess to being embarrassed about ever speaking them.” I’m not ready for a full-out confession yet. I still have my pride, even if I know she’s got me wrapped around every single one of her fingers.
“It’s amazing what one intense Tantra session can do
with our emotions, how tied they are to touch and intimacy. I believe there’s a life force behind the practice. I had a similar experience to yours, although nowhere near as dramatic.” She takes a deep breath before continuing, as if she’s preparing herself to go back to the night she’s describing. “At my first Tantra session, I cried a river of tears. I think the grief I’d bottled up after Jean-Paul’s death came spilling out of me. The numbness went away and left me from that moment on. I started to heal and return back to a normal life. I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t gone to that first session.”
“All I can say for now is wow.” I see such understanding in her eyes. “It feels as if I’ve had a bath on my insides, if that makes any sense? Likely a horrible description, but I can’t think of any better way to explain it.”
“I’ll put on my psychologist hat for a minute.” She gives me a subtle wink with a little gleam in her eyes. “You were so closed to receiving from others and giving yourself fully to them. When you finally let go and felt things you hadn’t in years, the results were mighty powerful, thus your scream. I cried tears, and you cried out instead. I admit it was painful for me to hear you in such torment, but it needed to happen. You’re better for it now.”
“And speaking of a bath,” Kathryn continues. “It’s getting late and you’ve had quite the night. From death threats to our little mind-blowing event here tonight. What do you say we head for the shower?”
“We, as in us together?” I ask with the hope of a thousand praying saints.
“Yes. Unless you have objection,” she says in a sarcastic way while she rises to her feet and steps off the mat. Once standing, she reaches for her sports bra. I’m waiting for her to put it on and cover up those luscious tits, but instead she turns to face me still bare-chested, hair cascading around her shoulders. A raven-haired temptress. God, how did I get so fucking lucky?
“Damn, woman, you’ll get no objections about sharing a shower from me.” I love how she stands before me exposed, so free and open with her beautiful body. I can’t help but wonder if the touching beneath clothes we did together was out of the norm for her. She said she’d crossed so many lines with me. “What we did tonight? Was that what you had planned? I mean the sex part?”